Valentine's Day Guest Blogger Giveaway!

UPDATE: The winner of Julia Justiss’s Disreputable is MrsShukra! Congratulations.

If you didn’t win, don’t despair. Enter my contest here or join me today at Ashley March’s blog for a chance to win one of my backlist. And be sure to visit my blog often, because I have some great guests lined up for you!

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Ever get the feeling we tend to make the same romantic mistakes over and over? To guard against this, my blog guest, HQ author Julia Justiss is making a lovelorn list and checking it twice. Add your Love Resolution in the comment section for a chance to win a copy of Julia’s Disreputable.

VALENTINE RESOLUTIONS

For Valentines Day, we are usually inundated with sweetness and candy, ads touting jewelry and romantic getaways and chocolate and…toys of other sorts.

But some of the most fun romances I recall reading are ones in which the newly single or always single team up with friends to resist (or console themselves for not) being Hooked Up on that day of all days devoted to lovers.

Which brought me to:  what are the most important Love Resolutions for those wounded in the Romance Wars to make in order to avoid having their hearts shredded in future? In roughly order-of-important, here are some suggestions to remedy various Maladies:

–the previous love was unfaithful; wait to commit until making sure the next one is open and honest

–the previous love was too interested in/uninterested in sex; find someone whose level of desire matches my own

–the previous love was controlling; find someone who’s easy-going and doesn’t always need to have his/her way

–the previous love was mean-spirited or overly critical; find someone whose self-esteem doesn’t require them cutting down everyone else, or who is sensitive enough to phrase criticism in constructive rather than hurtful ways

–the previous love was selfish; find someone who thinks about other people’s needs, preference and feelings, not just his/her own

–the previous love wanted to the be center of my life, trying to push everyone else away; find someone who’s not threatened by my relationships with friends and family

–the previous love needed constant reassurance of my love and loyalty; find someone who has enough confidence in themselves not to need propping up

–the previous love was nice, but boring; find someone a bit more challenging

In my February Regency Historical, Society’s Most Disreputable Gentleman, hero Greville Anders has built quite a reputation as a dissolute rake, but after a life-altering experience, he is determined to reform his wicked ways.  One of his new resolutions is not to tempt ladies—especially not well-bred young ladies.

But he finds it hard to ignore the beautiful daughter of his host, especially after Amanda Neville makes it clear that she finds this landless younger son and former sailor not at all worthy of her time. Greville, who can tell that despite her disdainful attitude, Miss Neville finds him attractive, can’t help teasing her.  Since he knows Amanda’s dream is to go to London, marry a highly-placed politician and become a great Society hostess, he figures it won’t hurt to indulge in a little country flirtation before she heads off to town and they never see one another again.

Of course, love and fate have a different idea for their future!

So, have you ever suffered a spectacular break-up that led you to form Love Resolutions?  Any you would recommend to others wishing to guard their hearts?  To one responder drawn at random, I’ll send a copy of Disreputable.

Disreputable sounds like great fun. Thanks for visiting, Julia!

18 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day Guest Blogger Giveaway!

  1. Hi, everyone! Apologies for checking in a day late. Yesterday was…okay, better not describe it. But I survived and today is a new day and I’m really enjoying all the comments! I think Mia hit the high points, but I did have to LOL at Marlene’s “never fall in love again.” Isn’t that just the vow that will almost guarantee you end up head over heels? But I agree, along with the euphoria needs to be a hard-nosed practical look at who we are, who this other person is, and whether they share our most important values. Congrats to all who have avoided the pitfalls and found their Happily Ever After!

  2. Jeanne Miro says:

    Hi Mia and Julia – Sorry that I’m a day late!

    When I was in school I had been swayed by looks, wealth and standing instead of those qualities that mattered. Fortunately I eventually realized that my parents social ambitions and my happiness were DEFINATELY not the same.

    When I was 18 I ended up leaving home to live my life not their expectations of what my life should be. That meant paying for my own education and struggling financially but it was worth every sacrifice.

    When I first introduced my fiance to them they were horrified to learn that he was ENLISTED in the Navy (not an officer) with only a high school education. Keeping in mind that I have an older sister who is on her 4TH MARRIAGE (all with their blessings) I want to let you know that we have just celebrated our 41st anniversary.

    When times have been hard (whose isn’t these days) our love and devotion to each other has been more important than money or status. So all you out there – hang on and just be sure to consider what’s really important in the one you love!

    1. Mia Marlowe says:

      Thanks for reminding us that status, wealth or appearance is not always conducive to happiness, Jeanne. It’s the guy’s heart that matters.

  3. Sandy says:

    Happy Valentine’s Day, Mia and Julia.

    Julia, everyone loves a rake. Smile.

    1. Mia Marlowe says:

      Everyone loves a rake in fiction, Sandy. Me included. Part of the charm of that sort of romance is the fantasy that the right woman can reform the rake. We all want to believe the guy is redeemable.

      However, in real life, if you’re involved with a rake, I think your watchword ought to be “Trust, but verify.” People rarely change so completely.

  4. BJ says:

    Julia, so good to meet you here on Mia’s blog. I enjoy your books and I’m looking forward to this new one.

    I’m nodding at a lot of the comments. My first husband resented any friends I made. Once when two women from work visited, he sat on the sofa with us the entire time–not to talk, but to glare. When that marriage ended, I vowed never to be drawn to that kind of man again.

    But sure enough I was. When I returned to college, that one threw all kinds of barriers in my way, reacting jealously to any new friends I made. Thank goodness we hadn’t yet wed when I realized the mistake.
    But after two such incidents, I thought it must be my fault for attracting the wrong men.

    Finally,in my late 40s I met a man who didn’t seem perfect at all but turned out to be–for me :0. He was supportive, outgoing, encouraging. We used to laugh that if we didn’t stop trying to please the other, we’d never make an informed decision on anything. We were married for nine wonderful years before he died. Thank goodness I had redefined “perfect” or I might not have found my perfect guy.

    1. Mia Marlowe says:

      BJ, I can imagine it’s difficult to deal with someone who needs to control your friendships. Good thing you were able to recognize that trait in the fellow you met in college.

      I’m sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a wonderful marriage.

  5. mrsshukra says:

    Nice to meet Julia here! Happy Valentine’s, Mia! No break-up experience for me so no nothing to share but what I tell my daughter is if there is no proposal after exactly two years in a relationship, leave him!

    1. Mia Marlowe says:

      I agree. Two years is enough time to know whether it’s working.

  6. Marlene Gagnon says:

    JJ is so right, yet she missed the big one, “I’M NEVER FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN. PERIOD. AIN’T NO WAY.” Then boom, you meet the love of your life when you’re not looking for it. We’ve been together for 20 years.

    1. Nynke says:

      That is a huge one, but can anyone really delude themselves it’s the best chance of being happy? I only tolerate it in romance novels becuase it makes for good plots.

      Yay for the love of your life! :)

    2. Mia says:

      I think there’s something to the idea of being sufficient for yourself, to be comfortable in your own skin. If you are ok alone, life will only get better when the right one comes along.

  7. Jennifer Cryblskey says:

    A previous husband was angry alot as life was always out to “get” him specifically. He had darkness that touched his eyes at all times. My resolution was to find someone with kindness and happiness in their eyes. They truly are a window to the soul. My now husband has kind, gental, laughing eyes and that is exactly his personality. He is optimistic and loving all the time. Our one year anniversary is March 13 and this has been the best year of my life.

    1. Mia says:

      I’m so happy you found a man with kind eyes, Jennifer!

  8. Julie Brown says:

    After 25 years my Husband left after a two year affair. I made the resolution never to trust again…however, I did, had a few relationships, which ended because they wanted much more than I was willing to offer. I am now happy in Kuwait surrounded by Military Men, I have many male friends but at almost 50, I will not get drawn into another ‘thing’ just yet…I am for the first time Happy and content, not walking on broken glass. I often wondered what finding myself was all about…..Now I know!

    1. Mia says:

      Don’t let age discourage you. A few years ago, my sweet little grandma had a stroke and had to be moved to retirement home. While visiting her, I became acquainted with a group of octagenarians who were voracious romance readers. I cleared my shelves and brought them books regularly.

      Then one day, one of them was gone. Fearing the worst, I asked where she was. Imagine my surprise when they told me she’d gotten MARRIED and moved out to her new husband’s house!

      It’s my theory that love gravitates toward romance readers, whatever their age.

  9. Nynke says:

    My previous love was unfaithful, selfish and overly critical, so those three resolutions all applied. But the resolution I consciously made after we broke up was to give myself time to play around and not get drawn into another long-term relationship before I was sure I fine on my own.

    I ended up breaking that resolution, but I did deny I was in a real relationship for half a year, until all my friends made fun of me. Silly, happy me :).

    Society’s Most Disreputable Gentleman sounds great, by the way – I wonder how someone goes about ‘not tempting ladies’. I bet some ladies would be tempted no matter what he does!

    1. Mia says:

      I’m glad you’re silly and happy now, Nynke!

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